Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she re (2024)

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https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/713413... From my initial reading, I can say that, though there are some errors, it's overall very good. It's written in a very literary style. It's mainly punctuation. There are a few errors with conjugation or word choice, but nothing that makes it hard to understand the writing (and knowing that you speak Spanish, I can understand where those errors came from.) Sure thing! I look forward to helping you out! https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/713413... I could, but later, when I have time. I'll see if I can find a way to highlight the reasons why I made corrections (which I couldn't manage to do with the previous one.) Sorry, I missed this. I'll try to take a look at it after I get some sleep. I've started work on it, but I've been too busy to finish today. I hope to finish tomorrow. After tea time, Nessa showed me the room, which seemed to be occupied. Everything was in disarray. It was brimmed with books, diaries and old sketches.As soon as Nessa peered at my puzzled face, she hastened to clarify that one day, their last roommate went out at midnight. He didn’t come back to collect his belongings, nor did he try to get in touch. She told me that if I was willing to clean it, the room was mine. I started in that precious instance, deciding what I should get rid of and what I should keep. Eventually, I finished. Given that I was utterly fatigued, I decided to get ready to finally go to sleep. However, when I was about to sleep, my eyes went to one of the garbage bags, containing the diaries.Curiosity awakened inside me… What had he been writing all this time? Perhaps I could find out the reason why he left in first place.I opened the garbage bag and took one of them out. It was full of ghastly anecdotes of his stay in the apartment with Nessa and Pauline. That changed my mind about the place. Nessa and Pauline looked exceptionally affable, but they were actually bad people. I didn’t want to live how their last roommate lived. I took my few belongings and tiptoed downstairs. I approached the door, but as I expected, it was locked; thus, I instead attempted to carefully open the window to get out.After a few minutes, I managed to escape. Since then, I have never been back to that apartment, or to see Nessa and Pauline. @anitapaulaamado Yes, I do - good job! Now I'm wondering what they did to that poor guy.

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anitapaulaamado

1 May 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

  • English (US)

Question about English (US)

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Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (2)

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InsertANameHere

2 May 2022

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  • English (US)

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Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (4)

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anitapaulaamado

1 May 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

Furthermore, there were a little valley filled of lotus leaves with some frogs on them.
Although the left way looked mysterious, darker and even wilder. The road was rather narrow and steep, all covered with a heavy mist .The trees hadn’t leaves at all and the branches seemed like huge hands which were trying to catch something or someone…
Claire’s calm was abruptly interrupted; she couldn’t remember which was the right way to go back home. Every second the environment turned darker and colder and Claire started to get nervous; her teeth were chattering, her legs were trembling, and his cheeks and nose were red. Nevertheless, a couple of minutes later, she heard a sweet voice coming from the right path; it was her mother calling her.

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InsertANameHere

1 May 2022

  • English (US)

From my initial reading, I can say that, though there are some errors, it's overall very good. It's written in a very literary style.

I would be willing to correct the work, but I won't be able to do so until I'm at my computer. I intend to get back to this. Please remind me if I forget.

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Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (12)

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anitapaulaamado

1 May 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

oh thanks 💜 could you tell me if my mistakes are grammatical mistakes or just punctuation?

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InsertANameHere

1 May 2022

  • English (US)

It's mainly punctuation. There are a few errors with conjugation or word choice, but nothing that makes it hard to understand the writing (and knowing that you speak Spanish, I can understand where those errors came from.)

I got back late, and have to go to bed soon. I'll try to correct this tomorrow. I think I'll create a Google document to do so and link it here when I do, since it's difficult to point out corrections I make here.

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Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (20)

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anitapaulaamado

1 May 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

aw, thank you so much, I really appreciate

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InsertANameHere

1 May 2022

  • English (US)

Sure thing! I look forward to helping you out!

Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (28)

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InsertANameHere

2 May 2022

  • English (US)

Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (35)

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anitapaulaamado

2 May 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

Thank you!! don't worry!, I'll check your corrections and I'll rewrite it on a doc.
Honestly, I truly appreciate, it's very helpful

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anitapaulaamado

31 May 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

Sorry! this could be a bit daring of me, but I had to write another little story and I was wondering if you could give it a quick look because of the grammar

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InsertANameHere

31 May 2022

  • English (US)

I could, but later, when I have time. I'll see if I can find a way to highlight the reasons why I made corrections (which I couldn't manage to do with the previous one.)

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Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (44)

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anitapaulaamado

17 Jun 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

thanks!

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InsertANameHere

19 Jun 2022

  • English (US)

Sorry, I missed this. I'll try to take a look at it after I get some sleep.

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Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (52)

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anitapaulaamado

19 Jun 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

ok! thanks!!!

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InsertANameHere

19 Jun 2022

  • English (US)

I've started work on it, but I've been too busy to finish today. I hope to finish tomorrow.

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Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (60)

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anitapaulaamado

20 Jun 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

Don't worry, take your time and if you cannot do it, it's ok, completely understandable

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InsertANameHere

20 Jun 2022

  • English (US)

After tea time, Nessa showed me the room, which seemed to be occupied. Everything was in disarray. It was brimmed with books, diaries and old sketches.As soon as Nessa peered at my puzzled face, she hastened to clarify that one day, their last roommate went out at midnight. He didn’t come back to collect his belongings, nor did he try to get in touch. She told me that if I was willing to clean it, the room was mine. I started in that precious instance, deciding what I should get rid of and what I should keep. Eventually, I finished. Given that I was utterly fatigued, I decided to get ready to finally go to sleep. However, when I was about to sleep, my eyes went to one of the garbage bags, containing the diaries.Curiosity awakened inside me… What had he been writing all this time? Perhaps I could find out the reason why he left in first place.I opened the garbage bag and took one of them out. It was full of ghastly anecdotes of his stay in the apartment with Nessa and Pauline. That changed my mind about the place. Nessa and Pauline looked exceptionally affable, but they were actually bad people. I didn’t want to live how their last roommate lived. I took my few belongings and tiptoed downstairs. I approached the door, but as I expected, it was locked; thus, I instead attempted to carefully open the window to get out.After a few minutes, I managed to escape. Since then, I have never been back to that apartment, or to see Nessa and Pauline.I tried to keep your word choice for the most part, making adjustments to facilitate better word flow. I changed a few instances of "this apartment" to "the apartment", since you wouldn't "this" in reference to something in past tense unless it was close to you (i.e. you would refer to it as "this") at the moment you were speaking. I adjusted "took out one of them" to "took one of them out" because pronouns that are the objects of phrasal verbs are almost always interposed if the phrasal verb allows for it, and it sounds unnatural when they aren't. (It's not quite as noticeable when the pronoun is part of a phrase, like "one of them," but it still sounds better to interpose the phrase.)If you notice any more changes and have questions about them, please let me know!

After tea time, Nessa showed me the room, which seemed to be occupied. Everything was in disarray. It was brimmed with books, diaries and old sketches.
As soon as Nessa peered at my puzzled face, she hastened to clarify that one day, their last roommate went out at midnight. He didn’t come back to collect his belongings, nor did he try to get in touch. She told me that if I was willing to clean it, the room was mine. I started in that precious instance, deciding what I should get rid of and what I should keep. Eventually, I finished. Given that I was utterly fatigued, I decided to get ready to finally go to sleep. However, when I was about to sleep, my eyes went to one of the garbage bags, containing the diaries.
Curiosity awakened inside me… What had he been writing all this time? Perhaps I could find out the reason why he left in first place.
I opened the garbage bag and took one of them out. It was full of ghastly anecdotes of his stay in the apartment with Nessa and Pauline. That changed my mind about the place. Nessa and Pauline looked exceptionally affable, but they were actually bad people. I didn’t want to live how their last roommate lived. I took my few belongings and tiptoed downstairs. I approached the door, but as I expected, it was locked; thus, I instead attempted to carefully open the window to get out.
After a few minutes, I managed to escape. Since then, I have never been back to that apartment, or to see Nessa and Pauline.

I tried to keep your word choice for the most part, making adjustments to facilitate better word flow. I changed a few instances of "this apartment" to "the apartment", since you wouldn't "this" in reference to something in past tense unless it was close to you (i.e. you would refer to it as "this") at the moment you were speaking. I adjusted "took out one of them" to "took one of them out" because pronouns that are the objects of phrasal verbs are almost always interposed if the phrasal verb allows for it, and it sounds unnatural when they aren't. (It's not quite as noticeable when the pronoun is part of a phrase, like "one of them," but it still sounds better to interpose the phrase.)

If you notice any more changes and have questions about them, please let me know!

Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (68)

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anitapaulaamado

20 Jun 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

thank you!! it was really useful
last question, do you think it was well written in general?

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InsertANameHere

21 Jun 2022

  • English (US)

@anitapaulaamado Yes, I do - good job! Now I'm wondering what they did to that poor guy.

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Highly-rated answerer

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (76)

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anitapaulaamado

21 Jun 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

hahaha I truly don't know, I was thinking about like pranks during bedtime, when the guy had school the next day.

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anitapaulaamado

21 Jun 2022

  • Spanish (Spain)

alright, thanks for everything one more time haha 💜

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[News] Hey you! The one learning a language!Do you know how to improve your language skills❓ All you have to do is have your writing corrected by a native speaker!With HiNative, you can have your writing corrected by native speakers for free ✍️✨.Sign up

Alguien me puede corregir esto? Once, on a winters day, an odd-looking little girl with beautiful long curly ginger hair named Claire, was sitting pleasantly reading a book, on the roots of an enormous ancient tree in the middle of the forest. When she realized that the sun had gone earlier than usual. She knew she had to go back home; otherwise her mother will be worried. However, before leaving, she took a couple of minutes to admire the full moon, which looked like a shining perl that she could pluck out of the dark sky. Just then, the distracted red-head started to walk back home while she was finishing her book. After a long time strolling, she ran into two paths; the right one looked gentle and calm; the smell of the freshly cut grass flooded her nose. Also, the enchanting light of the moon was hitting the ground lightly. The path was full of the prettiest purple flowers that she had ever seen, as well as blue butterflies with little black spots on their wings. (85)

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